I'm a wicked girl...in a barbie world...

According to the December 19th edition of CBC News, a British study (conducted at the University of Bath) suggests that "many young girls like to mutilate and "torture" Barbie dolls, including popping off their heads and microwaving them."

Oh, stop the presses: girls do mean and vile things to their dolls. The study itself was based on one hundred girls (7-11 yrs old) in an attempt to "analyz[e] the effects of product branding and marketing" on this particular target.

The study concluded that Barbie™ was the victim of most of the girls' violence:

"The doll provoked rejection, hatred and violence," said Agnes Nairn, who teaches marketing in the university's school of management.

She said that regardless of age or school, children "gleefully" reported maiming the dolls.

"The girls we spoke to see Barbie torture as a legitimate play activity, and see the torture as a 'cool' activity in contrast to other forms of play with the doll," she said.

"The types of mutilation are varied and creative, and range from removing the hair to decapitation, burning, breaking and even microwaving."

The researchers' suggested that perhaps the girls had outgrown the doll, that "disavowing Barbie is a rite of passage and a rejection of their past." Not surprisingly, Mattel™ was quick to dismiss the claims, citing its ridiculously high sales as "proof that the doll is widely loved by children."

Check out the original article here.

Now, I was a girl with Barbies once. I took great pleasure in slicing down the front of their legs and peeling back the rubber skin to try to get to the bottom of how its manufacturer had made those knees bend. I also helped those knees bend into as many sexual positions as those joints could muster. My sister was also a girl with Barbies once. She took great pleasure in scalping the ones with the thicker hair or the more interesting haircuts to make wigs for the ones she liked better (My Marie Osmond™ doll lost her scalp for precisely that reason). We both enacted scenarios where Barbie™ didn't come out all glitter princess in the end. We tortured, mutilated, and dressed her up - depending on the day. Had we had a microwave growing up, I'm certain Marie™ would have had to melt at least once.

So much wasted space over how aggressive our girls have become. How mean. How decidedly unfeminine...

So many wasted brains on a study that ultimately leads to a resounding "Uh, duh!" while also contributing to a resounding wave of seemingly unending moral panic...